I wrote some fragments from his lecture in 1999. Some fragments are not identical with what he's speaking because I chose to make a synthesis to be shorter with the text. But you can be sure I kept the idea and message of what he's trying to say.
"If you don't ravish your woman, from time to time with all your wild dark masculine essence, but with all your heart also, you'll start having fantasies. You'll think your partner is getting blank, but in fact, you're not allowing yourself to be you, as a whole, and yes, this means from time to time, to be a wild man to take your woman and ravish her with all your love. Just have a mind-blowing, throwing away, animal but loving sexual encounter. Yes, you do have that animal inside you, and if you don't let it be, it will twist your ways and consume you, make you feel constraint. It's part of you. And this goes also for all the women. Suppress some part of yourself and you'll start to blame the exterior for your own suppression."
"Women stop negating the dark aspects of your man, by judging the fact that he's watching a bloody movie, or something really violent. You'll only make him close his wild part and that for sure will want to come out. And it will, but by abusing you in any way or negating some parts of yourself as well. So let your man be wild, let him watch bloody stuff or do crazy adrenaline things. He needs that. You as a woman also need that if you have a masculine essence, more than a feminine one. But most of all let him be a "bloody crazy warrior" from time to time, whenever he feels like being that."
"Violence against women is a form of distorted ravishment. If men would simply ravish the woman they love, all the time or whenever it felt right between the two of them, they wouldn't have the need to perceive violence against women. So the dark part of the masculine scale, the wild ones, when it's converted from the heart when love comes to it, it's all about ravishment. It's about the samurai art ethic of protecting and serving, about sacrificing yourself for the welfare of humankind, and that is beautiful. And that's the part that we lacking in our control, specifically, men are lacking that dark part of the masculine scale, because our culture is so anti-the dark side. Which is should be, because the dark side is not connected to the heart. But you can't say or see all violence is evil, and then expect men to be able to kill, protect and sacrifice themselves in the name of love. Or to ravish you in the name of love. They are afraid, they are inhibited, they don't trust and love that part of themselves. It's because it's been held inside for so long that it does go wild in a negative way when it's manifested. When men and women limit and reject this lower part of the masculine essence, you deny a hole part of the masculine, which is in the man but also in the woman."
"The feminine scale is love, so if you have a strong feminine side, to you enlightenment is about love. To you the feeling of increasing your love and loving, it feels like your moving towards enlightenment, and in fact, you are. But the texture of love in your body is not one of release, it's one of fullness. Masculine essence is about release, emptiness, feminine essence is about fullness. Masculine will be like loving that space of emptiness, void, of pure consciousness, of no thoughts at all. The feminine essence is about love, and you (as a man) get lost in a place of emptiness, of no objects, no nothing, but all she wants is love, she wants it in the body, in the mind, in the heart, she wants it beyond it all, it's pure love is what the feminine is for. And the feeling of pure love is not emptiness, but fullness. So one thing the feminine is always trying to do is get full, instead of getting empty like the masculine. Men love, like empty shelves, empty rooms. A woman with a feminine sexual essence, you walk into her house and every shelf is filled with all kinds of objects, rocks from all over, little feathers from here and there, all these little objects from 20 years ago that she kept safe for remembering. The feminine likes fullness, and it will seek fulness in all kinds of ways. It's about love, about plentifulness. They will seek fulness through food, conversations, children, family, friends, they gotta have something full in their lives."
"The feminine has a dark part also, an animal, the wild and destructive force inside. And when it's converted to love it turns also into ravishment. Sometimes only through destruction, "death", violence, in other words, crazy strong sexual ravishment, you can revive, and start over whatever you're doing. It may be a hard job or a confusing relationship. Have you seen in movies that sometimes couples when they get angry, just jump and each other throats and ravish themselves up? That's the way they consume their limitations, their anger, their needs, and that's the way they can start over. After the wild sex, they are both calm and loving, the hurricane ravishment did its job. Their book was wiped clean, and they experience a rebirth. Sometimes all you need to do is just ravish yourselves up, as you accumulated too much pressure. Let yourself be wild. Let yourself be AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!, but convert it to love. Women become frigid, and men become impotent when they are out of touch with their dark side when they have rejected their dark side. We all want someone who's light and dark at the same time, whether we admit it or not. Because we all want deep inside to be able to accept our both sides, light, and dark."
"So men, when your woman starts to throw dishes around and screaming, and you go like: "stop doing that, that's not nice, sit down and talk to me, don't act so crazy". What you are doing is that you're negating her sexuality, her dark side, as much as she is negating your dark side when you are watching a boxing game and she goes like: "That's sick! how can you watch something so violent and bloody?". They are the same things, the same mechanism. You don't have to find the dark side tasteful, you won't look at it with desire and say: "Oh boy! I love this stuff". But you definitely need to learn to accept, and embrace that side and the dark side of the other, either way, it's part of you or the other. If you don't embrace the whole of you and your partner, you'll negate it, and you can't reach real freedom, real love. You can't make love to the universe if your afraid of the dark side inside you, of the violence inside you and around you. Convert it to love. It's like you acknowledge that you have a gun, but you know you can't point it at anyone, you'll just use it as a paintball gun in a loving ravishing play or as a real gun when life demands protection."
"And in your children, and you have to be really careful about that. Because at a certain age when little boys grow up, they begin to be very competitive, and nagging. And if you have a feminine sexual essence, you'll think that's sick, and you'll begin to suppress that at a very young age, and you'll raise wimpy impotent men. Likewise, if you're a man and you have a daughter, and you see this little girl and she's gone crazy, she's emotional screaming out, and you go like slap her, or scream at her: "Quiet, quiet goddammit, this is my house, you just gotta be quiet in my house!" you're raising a frigid woman a woman that is going to suppress her own dark feminine part. So when you're raising children is really important to embrace the full scale, and to endow the lower parts, the dark parts with love. So as a father, when your boy starts to act from that part, killing frogs, collecting insects, and such things, at that point he needs to be initiated in his dark part. You need to sit down with him and just teach him. Like when he's playing with toy guns, decide to have that father-son talk, that it's a transmission of such masculine energy endowed with love. It's like: "Son, you're not a kid anymore, this is how you use a gun, never point it at anyone, when it's loaded you handle it this way.." You give him this talk and it's not the talk, but it's the seriousness of masculine love that's transmitted and it shifts him from being a dark side crazy kid (which is what's filling our cities right now) to an initiated man, who knows the sacredness of the dark side of the masculine, and can use it in a loving sacred way when it's necessary. At that point, the way he deals with violence is changed into protection mode, and "only when needed". The father has to say: "If you're going to fight, let me show you the right way. You do this, and that, but don't ever, ever hit anyone unless it's absolutely necessary." And you make this transmission to them and they will feel that this is serious, that they are responsible, that they are grown-ups now. And it's the same thing with the daughters, they have to learn that at a certain time that it's totally fine to let their emotions be free and flowing, but only when they are connected to love. So she can go off, she can be crazy and wild, and childish but she is love. Suppress that, and you'll create a tyrant in that daughter. So that's why mothers have to share their capacity to be free and loving and wild so that the daughter can learn the responsibility to love and be love. That's the time when the mother feels the daughter's vulnerability and it's the key moment of changing what could become an illness later: bulimia, anorexia, drug addiction. That's important to know because we as parents can change the way the children will act. So if we do the same thing, we will create men that abuse others, and women that abuse themselves, or the other way around. All because we deny the sacredness of the dark aspects we have."
"So what we are doing in our life is moving forward to the direct devotion to God, or direct death of our ego, depending masculine and feminine, and everything we do before that is a substitute for that. Food is a substitute for God, when you're eating because you're not feeling loved, sex is a substitute for God when you're having sex because you want to love and release, family is a substitute for God if you're not feeling already full. If you're full, if you are released in God, if you are happy, you could do all of these things, up and down, the light and dark, not as a form of seeking but as a form of play. You can watch a football game and really enjoy it, you can eat and really enjoy it, you can have a family and really enjoy it, but you won't be doing it to fill your sense of emptiness, nor you'll be doing it to release from all constraint. You'll be doing it for the sheer of the joy of it, and not because you're lacking something, either is love or freedom and seeking to get that something through a substitute for the real thing."
"If you don't ravish your woman, from time to time with all your wild dark masculine essence, but with all your heart also, you'll start having fantasies. You'll think your partner is getting blank, but in fact, you're not allowing yourself to be you, as a whole, and yes, this means from time to time, to be a wild man to take your woman and ravish her with all your love. Just have a mind-blowing, throwing away, animal but loving sexual encounter. Yes, you do have that animal inside you, and if you don't let it be, it will twist your ways and consume you, make you feel constraint. It's part of you. And this goes also for all the women. Suppress some part of yourself and you'll start to blame the exterior for your own suppression."
"Women stop negating the dark aspects of your man, by judging the fact that he's watching a bloody movie, or something really violent. You'll only make him close his wild part and that for sure will want to come out. And it will, but by abusing you in any way or negating some parts of yourself as well. So let your man be wild, let him watch bloody stuff or do crazy adrenaline things. He needs that. You as a woman also need that if you have a masculine essence, more than a feminine one. But most of all let him be a "bloody crazy warrior" from time to time, whenever he feels like being that."
"Violence against women is a form of distorted ravishment. If men would simply ravish the woman they love, all the time or whenever it felt right between the two of them, they wouldn't have the need to perceive violence against women. So the dark part of the masculine scale, the wild ones, when it's converted from the heart when love comes to it, it's all about ravishment. It's about the samurai art ethic of protecting and serving, about sacrificing yourself for the welfare of humankind, and that is beautiful. And that's the part that we lacking in our control, specifically, men are lacking that dark part of the masculine scale, because our culture is so anti-the dark side. Which is should be, because the dark side is not connected to the heart. But you can't say or see all violence is evil, and then expect men to be able to kill, protect and sacrifice themselves in the name of love. Or to ravish you in the name of love. They are afraid, they are inhibited, they don't trust and love that part of themselves. It's because it's been held inside for so long that it does go wild in a negative way when it's manifested. When men and women limit and reject this lower part of the masculine essence, you deny a hole part of the masculine, which is in the man but also in the woman."
"The feminine scale is love, so if you have a strong feminine side, to you enlightenment is about love. To you the feeling of increasing your love and loving, it feels like your moving towards enlightenment, and in fact, you are. But the texture of love in your body is not one of release, it's one of fullness. Masculine essence is about release, emptiness, feminine essence is about fullness. Masculine will be like loving that space of emptiness, void, of pure consciousness, of no thoughts at all. The feminine essence is about love, and you (as a man) get lost in a place of emptiness, of no objects, no nothing, but all she wants is love, she wants it in the body, in the mind, in the heart, she wants it beyond it all, it's pure love is what the feminine is for. And the feeling of pure love is not emptiness, but fullness. So one thing the feminine is always trying to do is get full, instead of getting empty like the masculine. Men love, like empty shelves, empty rooms. A woman with a feminine sexual essence, you walk into her house and every shelf is filled with all kinds of objects, rocks from all over, little feathers from here and there, all these little objects from 20 years ago that she kept safe for remembering. The feminine likes fullness, and it will seek fulness in all kinds of ways. It's about love, about plentifulness. They will seek fulness through food, conversations, children, family, friends, they gotta have something full in their lives."
"The feminine has a dark part also, an animal, the wild and destructive force inside. And when it's converted to love it turns also into ravishment. Sometimes only through destruction, "death", violence, in other words, crazy strong sexual ravishment, you can revive, and start over whatever you're doing. It may be a hard job or a confusing relationship. Have you seen in movies that sometimes couples when they get angry, just jump and each other throats and ravish themselves up? That's the way they consume their limitations, their anger, their needs, and that's the way they can start over. After the wild sex, they are both calm and loving, the hurricane ravishment did its job. Their book was wiped clean, and they experience a rebirth. Sometimes all you need to do is just ravish yourselves up, as you accumulated too much pressure. Let yourself be wild. Let yourself be AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!, but convert it to love. Women become frigid, and men become impotent when they are out of touch with their dark side when they have rejected their dark side. We all want someone who's light and dark at the same time, whether we admit it or not. Because we all want deep inside to be able to accept our both sides, light, and dark."
"So men, when your woman starts to throw dishes around and screaming, and you go like: "stop doing that, that's not nice, sit down and talk to me, don't act so crazy". What you are doing is that you're negating her sexuality, her dark side, as much as she is negating your dark side when you are watching a boxing game and she goes like: "That's sick! how can you watch something so violent and bloody?". They are the same things, the same mechanism. You don't have to find the dark side tasteful, you won't look at it with desire and say: "Oh boy! I love this stuff". But you definitely need to learn to accept, and embrace that side and the dark side of the other, either way, it's part of you or the other. If you don't embrace the whole of you and your partner, you'll negate it, and you can't reach real freedom, real love. You can't make love to the universe if your afraid of the dark side inside you, of the violence inside you and around you. Convert it to love. It's like you acknowledge that you have a gun, but you know you can't point it at anyone, you'll just use it as a paintball gun in a loving ravishing play or as a real gun when life demands protection."
"And in your children, and you have to be really careful about that. Because at a certain age when little boys grow up, they begin to be very competitive, and nagging. And if you have a feminine sexual essence, you'll think that's sick, and you'll begin to suppress that at a very young age, and you'll raise wimpy impotent men. Likewise, if you're a man and you have a daughter, and you see this little girl and she's gone crazy, she's emotional screaming out, and you go like slap her, or scream at her: "Quiet, quiet goddammit, this is my house, you just gotta be quiet in my house!" you're raising a frigid woman a woman that is going to suppress her own dark feminine part. So when you're raising children is really important to embrace the full scale, and to endow the lower parts, the dark parts with love. So as a father, when your boy starts to act from that part, killing frogs, collecting insects, and such things, at that point he needs to be initiated in his dark part. You need to sit down with him and just teach him. Like when he's playing with toy guns, decide to have that father-son talk, that it's a transmission of such masculine energy endowed with love. It's like: "Son, you're not a kid anymore, this is how you use a gun, never point it at anyone, when it's loaded you handle it this way.." You give him this talk and it's not the talk, but it's the seriousness of masculine love that's transmitted and it shifts him from being a dark side crazy kid (which is what's filling our cities right now) to an initiated man, who knows the sacredness of the dark side of the masculine, and can use it in a loving sacred way when it's necessary. At that point, the way he deals with violence is changed into protection mode, and "only when needed". The father has to say: "If you're going to fight, let me show you the right way. You do this, and that, but don't ever, ever hit anyone unless it's absolutely necessary." And you make this transmission to them and they will feel that this is serious, that they are responsible, that they are grown-ups now. And it's the same thing with the daughters, they have to learn that at a certain time that it's totally fine to let their emotions be free and flowing, but only when they are connected to love. So she can go off, she can be crazy and wild, and childish but she is love. Suppress that, and you'll create a tyrant in that daughter. So that's why mothers have to share their capacity to be free and loving and wild so that the daughter can learn the responsibility to love and be love. That's the time when the mother feels the daughter's vulnerability and it's the key moment of changing what could become an illness later: bulimia, anorexia, drug addiction. That's important to know because we as parents can change the way the children will act. So if we do the same thing, we will create men that abuse others, and women that abuse themselves, or the other way around. All because we deny the sacredness of the dark aspects we have."
"So what we are doing in our life is moving forward to the direct devotion to God, or direct death of our ego, depending masculine and feminine, and everything we do before that is a substitute for that. Food is a substitute for God, when you're eating because you're not feeling loved, sex is a substitute for God when you're having sex because you want to love and release, family is a substitute for God if you're not feeling already full. If you're full, if you are released in God, if you are happy, you could do all of these things, up and down, the light and dark, not as a form of seeking but as a form of play. You can watch a football game and really enjoy it, you can eat and really enjoy it, you can have a family and really enjoy it, but you won't be doing it to fill your sense of emptiness, nor you'll be doing it to release from all constraint. You'll be doing it for the sheer of the joy of it, and not because you're lacking something, either is love or freedom and seeking to get that something through a substitute for the real thing."