Daca are loc orice dizarmonie in acest aspect in comportamentul mamei catre el, baiatul va creste intr-un barbat care respinge vulnerabilitatea, care vede tandretea si afectiunea grijulie cu ochi sceptici fiind de asemenea speriat de a arata compasiunea, toleranta si delicatete. La fel se intampla si pentru femeie cu tatal sau.
Prin urmare prima femeie importanta din viata unui barbat este mama lui, si a doua va fi partenera lui, care in mod inevitabil va prelua munca neterminata lasata in urma de mama si va continua forjarea tacuta si bine intentionata a barbatului. Forjarea va fi de fapt infaptuita de el, dar femeia va oferi stabilitatea iubitoare, tacuta si loiala pentru ca el sa reuseasca.
In mod ideal, barbatul ar trebui sa preia munca neterminata si sa se slefuiasca in barbatul pe care el simte ca este in acord cu propriile sale capacitati. Dar daca munca este mai mare decat posibilitatile sale prezente, Dumnezeu-Sursa atotguvernatoare a creat femeia special pentru a asista si a oferi prezenta si iubirea sa pe timpul procesului de integrare si slefuire al unui barbat.
In acelasi mod barbatul are acelasi rol si aceeasi misiune in viata unei femei.
Sensul unui parteneriat este de a oferi iubire si stabilitate pe durata forjarii ambelor fiinte implicate. Parteneriatul ar trebui sa asigure cel mai sigur si usor mediu pentru ca fiecare fiinta sa creasca si sa se dezvolte catre puritate.
Conflictul si dificultatile apar cand orgoliul devine a treia persoana in conexiune. Cand frica de a iubi este prea mare, si cand viziunea aliantei este intunecata. Acestea pot fi depasite printr-o alianta deschis declarata.
Dar pentru ca toata stabilitatea, usurinta si iubirea sa abia loc, ambele fiinte trebuie sa fie dispuse sa se deschida, sa impartaseasca, sa asculte unul de altul si sa coopereze. Increderea este necesara, la fel ca atunci cand esti pe cale sa cazi si ai nevoie sa crezi intr-o mana care se intinde sa te ridice din calea primejdiei. Moralitatea, bunul simt natural, este necesara pentru a oferi stabilitatea pentru procesul mai mare decat personalul.
Amandoi ar trebuii sa fie dispusi sa discute deschis, in mod periodic, despre progresul si de asemenea obstacolele de personalitate inca prezente. Amandoi ar trebuii sa fie capabili sa isi spuna ceea ce le place sau nu la celalalt, ceea ce cred ca ar imbunatati conexiunea lor si de asemenea daca sunt dispusi sa se slefuiasca pe sine impreuna intr-un aspect anume.
Anumite conexiuni gasesc creativitate in momentele grele, dezvoltand un mod amuzant de a contra-ataca exploziile orgoliului. Precum saruturi, imbratisari instante sau glume tandre "cu subinteles".
Compromisurile sunt doar "renuntarile" la obisnuitele proaste ale orgoliului. Compromisurile, de fapt, sunt intotdeauna directionate catre o forma a unei obisnuinte foarte inradacinate si disfunctionale ale eului.
Amandoi ar trebuii sa fie parteneri inainte sa fie iubiti, pentru ca daca amandoi isi reamintesc ca s-au ales pentru a fi aliati in procesul forjarii, atunci drumul va fi pavat cu iubire si stabilitate si va fi mult mai neted.
In acest fel, munca interioara poate fi infaptuita, orgoliul nu poate deveni a treia persoana in conexiunea lor.
Nici un dusman nu va fi prezent.
"Dragostea dureaza ... cat ai grija de ea" Gabriela Nanes
ENGLISH
A man cannot see love as flowing, gentle, caring, and tender, if he grew up having a harsh mother. Even if the boy was unusual in his doings, the mother always has to find a balance between giving open tenderness and also preaching discipline and morality.
If any disharmony towards this matter, takes place in the mother's behavior towards him, the boy will grow into a man that rejects vulnerability, that sees tenderness and caring with skeptic eyes, also being affraid of showing compassion, forebearance and delicacy. The same goes for the woman with her father.
Therefore the first important woman in a man's life is his mother, and the second woman will be his partener, which inevitably will pick up the unfinished work left by the mother and continue the silent, good intended forging of the man. The forging will actually be done by him, but the woman will provide the loving, silent, loyal stability for him to succeed.
Ideally, the man should pick up the unfinished work and polish himself into the man he feels to be in accordance with his own capabilities. But if the work is greater then his present capacities, God The Source all-governing force created the woman especially to assist and offer her presence and love during an integrating and polishing process of the man. In the same way the man has the same role and mission in a woman's life.
The meaning of a partnership is meant to offer love and stability during the forging of the both beings involved. The partnership should provide the safest and more easy environment for each being to grow and develop towards purity.
The conflicts and hardships appear when the ego becomes the third person in the connection. When the fear to love is too much, and the sight of the alliance is clouded. These can all be overcomed with an openly declared alliance.
But for all this to happen both must be willing to open up, share, listen of the other and cooperate with each other. Trust is needed, just like when you're about to fall and you need to trust the hand that is reaching to lift you up from harms way. Morality, natural common sense, is needed to offer the stability for the greater process.
Both should be able to openly discuss, periodically about their progresses and also still present personality obstacles. Both should be able to tell each other what they don't and do like about the other, what they think would improve their connection, and also if they are willing to polish themselves together in a certain matter.
Some connections find creativity in hard times, developing a funny way to counter-attack the ego's bursts. Such as instant kissing, hugging or an "inside" tender joke.
Compromises are just "letting go's" of the ego's bad habbits. Compromises actually are always directed towards a form of a most rooted disfunctional ego habbit.
Both should be partners before lovers, because if both remember that they chose each other to be allies in the forging process, then the road will be paved with love and stability and will be smoother.
In this way, the inner work can be done, the ego cannot become the third person in their connection.
No enemy will be present.
"Love lasts... as much as you take care of it." Gabriela Nanes